Kim McDougall

Critter Wrangling Rules

As a pest controller of fae creatures, Kyra Greene loves her critters. And she loves her critter wrangling rules too. In every episode of the Valkyrie Bestiary, she comes up with a few news ones. By popular demand, I’ve collected them all here. Which one is your favorite?

Kyra’s critter wrangling rules so far:

1. When forest creatures stop moving, something bad is near. 
2. When scary things run away, something scarier is coming.
3. Don’t ever take on a two-headed beast that could spit fire with one end and bite your head off with the other.
4. There wasn’t much you couldn’t kill, confuse or disgust with a can of bug fogger.
5. Just because something smells dead, doesn’t mean it can’t kill you.
6. Don’t take in a rescue that can burn up in a fiery tornado.
7. Some monsters just need to die.
8. Beware the sparkly lure. It’s usually attached to a vicious hook
9. sometimes overkill is just enough kill.
10. cute kills just as much as ugly. 
11. If it can bleed, it can die.
12. Don’t ever try to appeal to a god’s good nature.
13. Where there's one carnivorous horse, a herd will follow.
14. Never make promises you can’t keep. That one’s just a good life lesson in general.
15. Always look a gift horse in the mouth. And if it has sharp teeth, never, never get on its back. 
16. Sometimes a hound is just a hound.
17. Even the smallest creature can be big in magic.

The first 11 rules are available on Redbubble in a variety of designs such as t-shirts, pillows, mouse pads, and much more. And today is the last day to take advantage of 25% off all apparel at Redbubble. Use code INSPIRED through August 19.

Check out the wrangler rules design at:

Wrangling rules #16 & 17 come from the new book, Ghouls Don't Scamper, releasing October 2022. Reserve your copy now to find out what new and amazing critters Kyra will be facing when she visits her old home town of Asgard. Get your copy HERE.

And finally, for the audiophiles who've been waiting for it, Book 4, Grimalkins Don't Purr is now available as an audiobook. Listen to a sample or buy it from your favorite retailer HERE.

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